I know that my parents were proud of having a smart, good kid. I even know they loved me, and would be horrified to know what their parenting resulted in. But it doesn’t change the fact that no one saw me as a kid.
Sometimes dealing with complex mental illness feels like you’re carrying around a list of diagnoses on your back. For a while, every time I heard something new, it was like “oh great, there’s something else wrong with me.” I’m coming to realize now that being able to find the right labels and understand them is a gift–at least for me.
When I talk about writing, I talk a lot about ‘doing it anyway’. Working on this book has been a masterclass in ‘doing it anyway’. As I’m going through and making the requested changes and additions, I keep seeing things that make me cringe and go “is that stupid? It sounds stupid” and “OH MY GOD THIS PLOT MAKES NO SENSE”. And then I just have to take a deep breath and keep going.
Plot is just the beginning.
Someone asked me, “Do you have any advice for someone who wants to start writing?” This is the answer that poured out of me.
I made a lot of changes to myself in 2017. Playing around with my appearance. Dressing in brighter colors. My therapist commented that it was like I was ready to be seen. That really stuck with me, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
I’ve had this site revamped for months now, just waiting for the right topic to come along, I suppose. It’s January 1st, so that seems as good a time as any to dive in and get started.