February 06, 2004
Brand interviews me
Dang. He's good at this.
1. Are you happy? If so, why? If not, what needs to change?
I am happy. It really came home to me while I was converting old journal entries over. I skimmed over most of the journal entries from last year and earlier this year, and it seems like someone else wrote them. I'm happy because I'm not as alone as I was. I'm happy because I'm managing to do something worthwhile with my life, even if it doesn't always look like it to the outside world. I feel useful, vital, active.
2. When will Exile’s Daughter be done? Is there any possibility you’re avoiding finishing it at a subconscious level? Will it rock when it is done?
Oh, with me there's always the possibility of avoidance. :)
That said, I don't think I'm avoiding it. Even when I'm not working at a breakneck pace (or even a snail's pace), it's always in my mind, churning around in the background. I can tell, because invariably when I do sit down to work, I manage to resolve problems that had previously seemed overwhelming.
As far as when it will be done... well, I'm shooting for the end of March for draft two. (Which, I know, probably means more like April or May, since I tend to underestimate these things.) How long it takes after that will depend on if I need a draft three or not. Will it rock? I hope so. I definitely think draft two is going to rock more than draft one--and draft one had some pretty rocking bits.
3. You’re something of a radical in life-choice areas. You’re a fat activist, you don’t believe in traditional models of success or nuclear family independency, and a few other issues. How often do these radical modes of thinking conflict with your hegemonic programming, and how deeply does it disturb you? How do you figure out which voice is right?
You know, I rarely think of myself as a radical. Thanks for the reminder that I am, in a lot of ways. I am constantly in conflict with myself. Sometimes that part of me that still wants to be the 'good' obedient girl I was raised to be whispers that all of my proclamations about size acceptance and non-traditional models of success are just a way to make excuses for the fact that I am a fat 31 year old woman who is unemployed, hasn't finished college yet, and lives with her mother. It's a harsh voice to deal with. And when it does disturb me, it disturbs me profoundly. Those are the times when I feel like a failure, when I feel like the ugliest human on the face of the planet, when I feel like I am worthless, invisible, useless... the list could go on.
But when I am more logical in my thinking, I consider my answer to your first question. I am happy. I have a place within my family, with my friends, a place I belong, where I am needed, and where I am loved. I am not standing still. Not only am I growing as a person, but I'm learning new skills, discovering and utilizing as much of my potential as I can. How can that possibly be considered failure or weakness just because of where I live or what pieces of paper I do or do not have on my walls? How should I, as a person, be lessened because there is more of me than most?
You know, I almost had to look up 'hegemonic programming'.
4. Explain to me, the anti-crafter, what the allure of cross-stitching is.
I am often of two minds about this. On the one hand, what I do is a lot like paint-by-numbers. I follow the designs of others, I'm not doing anything 'original' except maybe in my choice of fabric and framing. But of course, originality is overrated. I enjoy watching something beautiful and even useful come from my hands (come to think of it, for me that applies to cooking as well). There's also something very Zen-like in stitching the repeated pattern of all those little Xs. The movements are soothing. I'd be curious to see if anyone's done any research on this, because I swear cross-stitching can put me into the same sort of relaxed languor that endless games of Minesweeper can. ;)
5. The New and Improved WoD is coming soon. If they do a Changeling reboot, what would you want to see in it? Not see in it?
Ugh. I am so over White Wolf and how they do Changeling. Ultimately, I would love to see the game take a more mythological approach, and to ditch all the "art is KEWL, science is BAD!" crap that fills the first two editions. Likewise, romanticizing childhood can go too.
Brand needs to interview me more often. *nod*
For the few people who haven't seen this before:
THE RULES:
1 - Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
