March 24, 1999
Randomness
Sheri read my entry from January 23rd, the one about her father's funeral. I wasn't sure what sort of reaction I was going to get from her. I wasn't even sure if I should tell her that it was there. I'm worried about her. I want to be there for her, but I'm really not sure how. That's been a recurring thing lately. It's odd. I'm usually so empathetic, and I have a good idea of what to say and what to do... lately, I can still feel what's going on, but I can't seem to figure out what the best thing to do about it is. I think I need to stop worrying about what the right thing to do is and just do something.
At any rate, Sheri's reaction was... surprising, but gratifying in a way. She sent me a long email telling me how much it meant to her to see that day's events from someone else's perspective. She also told me she printed the entry out and put it in her scrapbook. That meant a great deal to me. I mean, I write this thing for myself, but it's still nice to know that something I've written helped someone else.
And as a sidenote... I'd love to know who's out there listening. I mean, I know a lot of my online friends check in every so often to see what I'm up to, as well as a few family members, but if you read this and you don't think I know... email me? Make me feel like I'm not just talking to myself here.
Another sidenote. James gave me a hard time about calling myself a pagan in my last entry. So just for him, I'll state my off-the-cuff, un-thought-through opinion on the matter. 'Paganism' is not a religion. If anything, it might be considered a loosely related group of religions, much like the term 'Christianity'. By that logic, for example, Wicca is to paganism what Catholicism is to Christianity. The religious and philosophical notions that I'm slowly (VERY slowly) gathering and collating in my mind, thus far, have more in common with a non-Christian, 'pagan' mindset than with the Christian mindset I grew up with. If it matters to anyone. As far as labels go, it fits me as well as anything does right now, and better than most.
