November 20, 1998
I Must Be A Toys 'R Us Kid
I love my cousin Sheri. She's proof that maybe I do share some of the same genetic material as the rest of my family. She has the same warped sense of humor as me. I talked to her a little today and she told me about going deer hunting last weekend. (We're a redneck family. I think I'm the only one who doesn't hunt.) She related how she got two deer at once, a buck and a doe.
"They were in the same clearing and I shot the doe. The buck just stood there, like he didn't understand why his doe wasn't following him. So, rather than let him go through the rest of his life alone and sad... I killed him."
I found that terribly funny. You'd probably have to know Sheri and me to understand.
She's three years older than me, almost to the day (I was born July on 7th, she was born on July 9th). I'm an only child, technically, but she's been as much a sister as a cousin. She even lived with me and my parents for a little while when I was too young to remember. Together, we are a very goofy, very scary pair. Put us with Sarah (also my cousin, and Sheri's 17 year old sister), and we get even scarier. I have often left a visit with the two of them with a horrible laughing headache and aching sides. It's a good feeling.
But then, as Chris has been known to say (Jo too, come to think of it), I'm easy.
When it comes to laughing at least.
As far as anything else goes, I plead the fifth.
I was thinking earlier today about how most of my close friends now are younger than me. It struck me as odd at first. The friends I have that are the same age as me are all generally married, getting married, or married and planning families. And that's not even mentioning the career thing. And it really bothered me for a little bit. Here I am, 26 years old, with no real idea of where I want to be in 10 years. Well no, I know where I want to be, just not how to get there. I'm just not much into career planning lately. Or even life planning. It's kind of scary and liberating at the same time. I don't think I want to be a drifter forever, and yet I'm pretty satisfied right now. I feel like I'm learning things and experiencing things that go beyond the stereotypical idea of success. Valuable things, about me, about life, about everything. (Apologies to Douglas Adams.)
I also realized: all my older friends went through their carefree, wandering sort of days and phases between the ages of say 19 and 24 or so. At 19, I was married and trying to be a good little wife and daughter and all the rest of that crap. Now I'm not a good little anything, and I'm much happier for it.
Been listening to Into the Woods a lot lately. Sondheim is a god. Little Red Riding Hood puts it best, I think.
So we wait in the dark, until someone sets us free
And we're brought into the light
And we're back at the start.
And I know things now, many valuable things
That I hadn't known before
Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood
They will not protect you the way that they should
And take extra care with strangers
Even flowers have their dangers
And though scary is exciting,
Nice is different than good.
Now I know, don't be scared
Granny is right, just be prepared
Isn't it nice to know a lot?
And a little bit not.
Sometimes though, you have to get free yourself, and find your own way back into the light.
Rescuers can be notoriously unreliable at times. Posted by Lisa at November 20, 1998 04:43 PM
