Divisions and Precisions

All Apologies

Well, I've probably screwed up, a lot. I made an error in judgement earlier today, and it's starting to catch up with me. I'm hiding right now. My phone keeps ringing, and I'm ignoring it. I know Jo stopped by earlier to see if I was okay, but I didn't answer the door. I don't know what's wrong exactly, I just... I don't feel right. I hope people can forgive me for being such a fuck up today. I dropped the ball big time and I'm sorry. But for now I just don't have the energy to go around crawling for forgiveness.

Lots of old feelings coming back. Old, icky depression feelings. Well hell, that's how I acted today. Even now I'm fighting the urge to just go back to bed and forget everything for a while. I don't even feel like RPing online. And that's usually my big escape. No one's really around though. James was, but he didn't feel like playing, and didn't feel like listening to me whine, either. I don't blame him. I don't feel like listening to me whine right now. I don't even quite know what's wrong, but then, I never do when I get like this. I don't know if I need someone to hold me or just kick my ass. Hollingsworth came and tried to talk to me, but I pretty much ignored him too.

You know if I leave you now

It doesn't mean that I love you any less

It's just the state I'm in

I can't be good to anyone else like this

Sing it, Sister Sarah. I don't even feel like listening to her right now though. I feel like working on revising Jake and Elathan's story, but I just feel... dry. Did someone ravage me while I wasn't looking?

I'm so hard to handle,

I'm selfish and I'm sad

Now I lost the best baby that I ever had

And I wish I had a river,

That I could skate away on...

Well, I'm off to do something. Dunno what. Maybe sleep. Maybe something constructive. Hell, I haven't eaten yet today, maybe I'll do that. Tomorrow is another day, and all that shit.