July 24, 1999
Metaphysical Me and My Good Intentions
Ironically, I'm sitting here listening to Hollingsworth playing Civilization II in the next room. Only ironic because he's playing on his computer. I have the Playstation version of it, which I haven't gotten around to playing yet. It sounds like a lot of fun, from the sound effects I'm hearing. Then again, to play it, I have to either take my Playstation back from him, or go play in his room. Of course, neither is a fate worse than death, but... ah well. Add that to the long list of things that want to eat up large portions of my time.
Today though, I plan to spend in bed reading. I'm completely hooked into The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams. It's just taking me forever to read it (see above: long list of things that want to devour my time). I used to be such a fast reader. Sometimes I feel like I've lost that. Then again, certain books tend to slow me down, not because they're boring or because I don't want to read them, but because (as Jo put it) the writing is very dense. Thick. This is never a bad thing. :)
Of course, I would still be asleep at this point, but the phone rang at about 11. Wrong number even, feh. I've thought about just turning my ringer off before I go to sleep on the weekends, but sometimes friends call at odd hours. I don't mind being woken up by a friend calling. Speaking of friends calling, I talked to Brand again last night. (My phone bill is going to be horrible this month, but ask me if I care...) I got sort of an odd scare. He was in a car accident yesterday. Both cars were totaled. No one was seriously hurt, but it was one of those 'just a little bit more to the right and you would have died' sort of accidents. The thought of losing him made me shiver a little bit anyway, but the thought of losing him barely twelve hours after we'd worked everything out...
Interesting sidenote, make of it what you will. I came home from work last night and collapsed in my bed to take a nap. I woke up at one point with a sort of murky, half-awake sense of urgency. It seemed very very important that I know what time it was right then and that I try to wake up. Since I couldn't see my clock, I called time -- about 10 PM (I'm on Eastern time). Then I laid back down and listened to my heartbeat, still feeling that urgency, but too sleepy to figure it out. When Brand was telling me about the accident, I asked him what time it had taken place. About 7 PM Pacific time. Maybe coincidence. Maybe not.
6:28 PM
Well so much for good intentions, I suppose. I fell asleep here in my chair shortly after writing the above, made it back to bed about an hour later, and just woke up. I guess sleep did get sort of ignored this week, so I'm trying to make it up. I find myself amused, once again, that my writing puts me to sleep.
I'm thinking about going to church tomorrow. It's sort of odd. I haven't been to any church in easily two years or more, and of course, haven't been regularly in at least six years or more. I'm trying to decide whether to go to the Church of Christ here in town or maybe go to the Unitarian Universalist Church. Odd, I feel no compulsion to go to the Church of Christ in Brighton, where I grew up. That wouldn't be a spiritual exploration so much as a massive guilt trip. I know the people there who watched me grow up mean well. I also know that they see me as one of the lost, someone who moved out into the big, wide, bad world and drifted away from everything good and pure. I got a lot of pressure from them at my uncle's funeral in January. Not sure I want to deal with that.
I have, however, heard very good things about the UU church in general, and about the one in Ann Arbor in specific. The idea of a Christian-based church that's open to other religious and spiritual ideas is so utterly foreign to me. I think I'd be going as much out of a sense of curiosity as anything else. I guess it sounds like I've made up my mind, huh? Now if I can just drag myself out of bed tomorrow...
