June 30, 2002
Meditations on Fear on the Eve of a 30th Birthday
Sometimes I feel the fear of my uncertainty stinging clear and I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer. But I fear I have nothing to give, I have so much to lose here in this lonely place. Who's there that makes me so afraid, I'm shaken to the bone? Oh, the fear I've known, that I might reap the praise of strangers and end up on my own. What is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing?
There I am in younger days, star gazing, painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be. Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection, my compass, faith in love's perfection -- I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen.
But I know I'm all right, my life will come and life will go. My whole life is on the tip of my tongue, empty pages for the no longer young. The apathy of time laughs in my face, did you hear me say, "Each life has its place."
All the fear has left me now, I'm not frightened anymore. It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh. It's my mouth that pushes out this breath -- and if I shed a tear I won't cage it. I won't fear love. And if I feel a rage I won't deny it. I won't fear love.
(This has been brought to you by On Display. The challenge was to write an entry written in lyrics. The words above are not my own, the feelings are.) Posted by Lisa at June 30, 2002 05:32 PM
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