May 30, 2000
Letting Go
This was a weekend of endings in a lot of ways. I finished several things. My book plan, for one. Finally. Right now I'm just waiting on feedback from the couple people I've got proofreading and editing it, and then I'll send it off to the editor. I finished reading Wizard and Glass, and I finally finished reading Snow Crash, which I started eons ago.I also ended a rather long roleplay-less streak. It had been several weeks since I'd played over on Something Wicked This Way Comes, aside from one memorable scene with Rowan. That's odd for me. So last night I dragged out a few characters and played. Marisol finally, well, you might say she ran into one of her past lives in a rather startling development. Past lives are always fun to play with in Changeling, and I expect this story will be no different in that respect.
6:22 pm
Well. Things got unexpectedly busy on me today. The phones have been insane and I've got piles of work on my desk that haven't been completed. Won't be completed, if the phones keep up. Ah well. I suppose I can't be productive all the time.
Back to the weekend, it had its ups and downs. I wasn't able to go visit my family like I'd planned, and Sunday night I got hit with a surprisingly hard core wave of depression. It came from several things, mostly my own neglect of me -- I hadn't eaten or slept enough that day -- and a misunderstanding with a friend that I blew out of proportion. It was scary and yet cathartic in a way. I spent several hours crying and I think got a lot of things out of my system.
There are some big changes coming up for me. I don't want to talk about them all yet, because I haven't thought through it all yet. I may end up moving, although I think that's fairly unlikely. Most of the changes are changes I'm going to have to make within myself, and some of them are things I've been resisting for a long time. For anyone who hasn't caught on yet, I'm very very bad at letting go of things. In order for me to move forward, I think I'm going to need to let go of a lot of things. Some of them are things I really don't want to let go of, and some of them are things I don't realize yet that I'm hanging onto.
I'm approaching all this change with my usual mix of trepidation and exultation. That too, should be no surprise.
Posted by Lisa at May 30, 2000 02:19 PM
