July 03, 2000
Have You Considered Valium?
I had odd dreams all night last night. It wasn't terribly restful. I kept dreaming that someone was breaking into my apartment. In fact, at one point I sat up in bed and opened my eyes and saw someone standing over me. I jumped and made a sound that would have been a scream if I'd had any air in my lungs -- then I blinked and saw that it was a trick of the shadows. If I recall correctly, I had similar dreams after I moved into the mobile home. I think it's just a weird reaction of my mind to moving in general.
I'm happy to report that I'm not moving like an 85 year old woman today, unlike yesterday morning. I've regressed to her 60 year old daughter today. Yesterday I was so stiff when I got up that I could barely stand upright without whimpering. Everything hurt. This, too, I remember from the last time I moved. Imagine how much more miserable I'd've been if I'd actually carried anything! I know, I know. I'm a horrible baby, and I need to get far more active.
I had a brilliant idea at work today. I'm tempted to ask management if we can implement it. You see, when people call in to our 800 number, very often they end up on hold at some point or another. Currently, we play awful music and tell them what number caller they are. (Or they press 0 and come talk to me, of course.) I think, as a service to our customers, we should come up with various public service announcements for them to listen to while on hold. I reached this conclusion after listening to about four overly stressed-out accountants in a row. The PSAs would say things like, "Life would be better if you cut down on the caffeine" or even "Have you considered Valium?" Aside from lifestyle ideas, we could also include meditative exercises such as: "Will this software problem really matter in five years?" or "Imagine yourself walking along a cool, moonlit beach. Ahead of you is a bonfire. You find yourself carrying your computer. Take a deep breath, and visualize yourself tossing the computer onto the bonfire. Now hang up and call back after the computer is a melted piece of plastic rubbish."
Well it made me feel better anyway.
My big plans for the holiday include... unpacking! Actually, it'll be kinda nice to just spend the day hanging around the house. I should even have a phone line. After spending about an hour being on hold and transferred all over the state of Michigan, the phone company agreed to have a service person come out today or tomorrow. Tomorrow? I'll be amazed if someone actually comes out tomorrow. If there's an update tomorrow, you'll know that someone made it out.
Posted by Lisa at July 3, 2000 03:12 PM
