July 20, 2000
Mildly Cranky
Well, I might have some company this weekend. Jason got sent on an unexpected business trip (well maybe not unexpected, but definitely last-minute) so Dawn emailed me about maybe getting together this weekend. Of course, as I'm getting DSL installed this Saturday and what with the book deadline and all I'll need to do some writing this weekend, so I imagine she'll come out to see me. It'll be fun. I hope she can, actually, so we can do girly slumber party stuff like watch chick flicks and gossip and whatever else girly-girls do when they get together. I think we established yesterday that I'm not a girly-girl. Or, alternately, we can play video games and go see X-Men again.
But really, I am planning to write this weekend! I'm planning to have one story finished by tomorrow and hopefully I'll finish the second one over the weekend. That'll give us all next week to polish and format everything exactly as the editor wants it. I'm a little worried. Minus the two stories I'm working on, and minus Brand's chapter the manuscript stands at about 15,000 words. Our limit was 25,000. I was so worried about having enough to say and here we are running out of room! Bear with me until next Friday, folks.
I started out having a 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat some worms' sort of day. One of my coworkers is a touch miffed at me for something that I'm refusing to acknowledge or take responsibility for. Since my shift was different this week, I made sure everyone knew I'd be willing to work their late shift if they wanted. One girl was all huffy and said, "Well, I'm sure Dave [our supervisor, he's on vacation this week] set the schedule that way for a reason, I don't think it's a good idea to keep changing it." So I said fine and retracted my offer. Well then it turned out that today, on her late day, it looked like she was going to have a doctor's appointment in the evening, so she said, "Oh, maybe I can switch after all." However, the appointment never got made, so I came in at 9 today as scheduled. She was here already. She said, "Didn't I switch with you?" I replied, "Well, you mentioned you might have that appointment, but then I never heard anything else about it..." She got snippy again and said, "That's fine." I sort of shrugged and said (I'm so evil), "Well, I just thought it would be better to stick to Dave's schedule, since he must have set it up that way for a reason..."
Granted, that was kinda mean of me, but I've been feeling very much like everyone's scapegoat lately and I'm a little tired of it. She's still bitching about working late, I can hear her on the phone. I'm tempted to say, "You know, if you want me to stay late, all you have to do is ask..." (Which she hasn't done yet.) However, my schedule got changed with no warning for this week, and that change may end up being a permanent one. I can deal, but it's making me less inclined to be generous in terms of offering my time.
We've hit another wave of everyone in the department interviewing for positions elsewhere in the company again. I'm finding myself hoping everyone gets their positions so they're gone from here. And I find myself again wondering why I don't apply for another position here. The answer's obvious, of course. I don't want another position. I'm just dealing with the same old self-consciousness issue, aware that I've been in the reception area for longer than any sane person would want to be. Worried that people will think that I'm here because I can't do any better rather than by choice.
And irritated when former receptionists come give me attitude about how much better they are than me now that they're in Customer Service or wherever. Feh.
Posted by Lisa at July 20, 2000 12:48 PM
