June 11, 2001
Recharging
Well, after some serious thought this weekend, as well as serious conversations with my mother and my therapist, and emails exchanged with what feels like half the known universe, I've decided to apply for the job in product support. The answer was unanimous from absolutely everybody. When I decided, my mom said, I think worried, "Now you'll be disappointed if you don't get it." I had to laugh a little. I admitted she was right, but said, "I can't let that stop me from applying though." Sure I'll be disappointed. My main goal in life, though, is not to avoid disappointment at all costs. Well okay. That's not my conscious goal. I'm certain that I've occasionally (often?) settled for something less to avoid the risk of trying for something better and not getting it.
So I'm working on my resume, in addition to poring over everything support-related I can find on our intranet site here. There's quite a bit. I actually feel like I'm learning something, making me wonder why I haven't done this before. I like the way my resume looks. It makes me feel almost competent. Scary thought, that.
We've implemented a new security system here, and a ton of new procedures, including photo ID badges. I'm impressed. I've managed to not look like an utter goon in my picture. Of course, considering where the badge hangs on me, I feel like everybody's staring at my chest now trying to read my name. I can no longer make the comment "My face is up here" because there's a copy down there too! Not like I ever made that comment to anyone anyway, but hey, a girl can dream, right?
I've been reading like a fiend lately. Within the past two or three weeks, I've finished at least four books by my count. (Unfortunately, one of them has not been the long-suffering Ms. Hamilton's Mythology.) I'm reading a fifth, with twenty-two other new ones sitting on my shelves waiting for me. I love eBay. Of course, I was depressed for some of that time, and I tend to read a lot more heavily when I'm depressed. Part of it is escapism, I know. Another part of it is that I just don't usually feel like doing much more than lying around and reading. I've also seen a lot of movies, both at home and in the theatres. That, of course, is also partly due to depression, but more due to the fact that this is an awesome movie summer! Since Memorial Day, I've seen The Mummy Returns, Shrek, Moulin Rouge (twice), and Memento all in the theatre. This weekend I will almost assuredly go see Atlantis and Tomb Raider. I've lost track of the movies I've watched at home.
Of course, some of this is also a reaction to finishing a writing project, too. I've noticed when I wrap up a big project, such as the (god help us) soon-to-be-released Revanche. It wasn't conscious on my part at first, but it's almost like I'm recharging my batteries or something. I read voraciously after finishing something. Particularly if I know I have another project coming up -- which I do. Several, in fact. This will be an interesting summer.
A word on Memento: if you missed this, go see it! Particularly if you're a fan of film noir or well-made thrillers. What a brilliant, brilliant movie.
Posted by Lisa at June 11, 2001 10:38 AM
