June 19, 2000
Matter of Habit
Max update: I got a second call about him Sunday morning. The woman called and said she'd just seen him outside her house. She gave me the address and I took off. I wandered up and down the streets calling him for about forty-five minutes, but no luck. If the two calls I got are right, he's still in the neighborhood, just a few blocks away from me. That's so unbelievably frustrating. I don't have the words. He's right there, and I can't find him. I'm changing my signs tonight to reflect the new information and to offer a reward.
I spent most of yesterday in a funk, mostly because of this. And I was ungodly tired. I went to look for Max around eleven, then did some things around the house to get ready for moving, then fell asleep in front of my computer. And I mean fell asleep. I was there for over four hours, out cold. And this was after sleeping over nine hours the night before. So of course, I couldn't sleep last night. Finally I think I dozed off for good around 3:30, and got up at 8. My frame of mind was not good last night. I was tense and anxious and sad.
Today's a little better. I'm still tired (imagine that!), but I'm not as tense. I haven't worked on my book in two weeks. Granted, I did write a short story in that time frame, but aside from that, the only writing I've done has been here. I need to change that. My goal is to work on one of the stories for the book today, or if work doesn't permit, tonight when I get home. I'm letting my personal life knock me out of the writing habit, and I can't do that. I've come too far recently for that.
I just want to be settled. That's all. I'm tired of upheaval and change all the time.
So, okay. Is it just that there's a glut of forums around? Or am I not asking the right questions to get a discussion started? Help me out here. :-)
Posted by Lisa at June 19, 2000 12:29 PM
