October 03, 2001
Changing Seasons
I'm not sure what to make of my life just lately. I talked a little bit about the new organizational stuff I've got going on, but that's not all that's changed.
I started dating again. Scary, huh? Well, I placed a personal ad, and answered a few, and last Saturday I went out with a very nice guy named Mark. After some shyness, we had a good time. In fact, we're going out again tomorrow night. We seem to have a great deal in common (he's a gamer! Yay!), including the aforementioned shyness.
I have never done this before. Ever. All of my relationships have usually started as friendship (online or otherwise), and then jumped to romantic. I've never done this dating someone you don't really know thing. I honestly don't know how to act, I swear. I mean, at what point does "going out" become dating? Or whatever terms you want to use. When does dating become a relationship? How do I know what he's thinking? Argh! I mean, I'm used to knowing someone well enough that I can just ask, "Hey, what do you think about this?" I dunno. Maybe the point is to wait until I know him well enough to ask that. For now I'm just going to try and keep my cool and not blow anything out of proportion.
I mean, how do you explain to someone that you've been married, but you've never dated?
Away from my social life, my work life has changed so dramatically, I'm not certain I can find the words for it. I hardly have a minute to spare during the day now, where before I literally wrote books (not to mention journal entries!) while on the job. The weird thing is, I like it. My days go by so fast now. I also already wrote a little about the respect I'm getting now, but I still can't get over it. And I can't get over how good I think I'm going to be at this job. Seriously. While I always suspected it, each day's training that passes confirms that I have a real knack for troubleshooting. My fellow trainees (both of whom have CIS degrees) are starting to come to me for help on stuff. Talk about an ego boost!
The only problem is that I've been getting very tired lately. Sunday is my only day off, and I usually spend most of it asleep. I'm starting to wonder if I should drop my history class, but the stubborn part of me doesn't want to give in on that one.
It occurs to me that I shouldn't be surprised how much everything is changing. It's October, after all. Things always change for me in October. Things change in October, and I get discontented with things in May. Is it any surprise those are the two months I am most likely to get depressed in? But not this month. I refuse. These are all GOOD changes. I'm... dare I say it?... growing up again. I seem to do it in spurts, have you noticed?
Posted by Lisa at October 3, 2001 01:36 PM
