October 12, 1999
The New Cinderella?
I woke up this morning in my bed, in my home. And I'd forgotten how lovely that could feel. My bed was cozy and the room was cool, just the way I like it. The sun was coming through newly washed windows, shining on crisp new sheets. I was rested, if a little stiff. As I got up and started my day, I felt so content, I swear if I'd opened one of the windows, I could have gotten birds to come to my outstretched hand, like a Disney heroine of old. (The new Disney heroines don't bother with birds. They have more interesting friends, like tigers and dragons.)
You can stop reading if you're sickened, it's all right.
It started last night after work. I... went grocery shopping. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I went grocery shopping? A long, long, long time. And I enjoyed myself. Got home and pretty much went to bed. This morning, everything seemed perfect. My shower was just right. I got my stereo set up, and all the songs sounded perfect. I cleaned a few things up, put away a few things, then... had breakfast. Cheerios have never tasted so good. Morning was just... blissful.
Of course, I pulled my calf muscle going down my steps this morning, but even that didn't mess with my mood. I just really want to get home and get back to everything.
It was funny, looking around today I realized just how much I don't fit in in this office. I'm not the business type. My hair isn't curled and styled and sprayed to within an inch of its life. My hair is long and unruly and growing out and hippie-ish. I'm not skirted and pantyhosed and suited and bound. My clothes are soft and comfortable and just within the bounds of 'business casual'. I don't wear makeup. I think it's safe to say that I'm not really going to 'go anywhere' in this company. I just don't fit the mold -- conservative, Christian (by tradition if not by actual practice), driven and... 'business-like'.
All of this would mean serious trouble... if 'business-like' was what I wanted to be. When I started working here, I went that route. I jumped right into that mold and joined right in. I think it lasted, oh... six months maybe? Maybe a little longer. Then slowly I started to revert to me. Once I realized that I could be happier here by being myself than by trying to 'get ahead' and be what I was 'supposed' to be, things changed. It's funny, once my department was full of people who wanted to 'get ahead', now all those people got ahead, and our department is full of more people like me: people who work here because the pay is pretty good, and because the job isn't bad. I have to admit, it makes for a pretty relaxed job atmosphere. We laugh more than the other departments. We're 'rowdier'. We have more fun. I think we can be more relaxed around each other, because we don't have to deal with being competitive... because none of us are trying to get ahead.
For now, I have to go. We're plotting our Halloween decorations. It sounds like we're going with a "Blair Witch" theme. You know, piles of rocks and bundles of sticks outside of people's cubicles. Well, we'll be amused if nothing else, and isn't that the point?
Posted by Lisa at October 12, 1999 01:53 PM
