September 01, 2000
Audition
Finally, days later, I get to tell y'all about my Choral Society audition Tuesday night.
Lemme cut all the suspense out right now: I didn't make it.
But, it was a near thing. A very very near thing. I made it to the site of the auditions about forty-five minutes early, and ended up filling out my sheet and sitting and chatting with some of the other auditionees. I managed to calm down, for the most part.
Then my turn came. Ack! I nervously followed the director into the lecture hall. Sat my things down, gave the director my audition sheet, gave the accompanist my music. "Go ahead whenever you're ready," he said. "What are you going to sing for us?"
I told him what I was I was going to sing, then took a deep breath, and nodded at the accompanist. The music was a little slower than I would have liked, but in I dived. After what sounded to me like a shaky start, I got more into it. And alternated. At moments I remember thinking, "Oh my god, this sucks SO bad," while at other moments I was awed at the way my voice filled the lecture hall. The director and his assistant kept looking at each other and smiling.
His first words when I finished were "What a gorgeous sound." I blinked and briefly wondered if he'd heard the same performance I had. But he was highly complimentary and asked me about my background and what my voice range was, then tested my range a little. Things were looking very very good. Then he had me sightread. It was a Requiem, but damned if I can remember which one. He quizzed me on key signatures, looking more and more pleased with each right answer.
And then I tried to read the music. Oh my god. Children, I blew goats. Large hairy ones. Everything I ever learned about sightreading went completely out of my head. I couldn't remember rhythms. I couldn't manage to pronounce Latin. I couldn't remember the easiest intervals. I stopped and faltered, even though he gave me chance after chance. It was painful.
He finally sighed and said, "You're almost there, but just not quite close enough." We both tried to work around things a little, but he finally felt like he couldn't put me in his group yet. Yet. He gave me the phone number of a woman who teaches sightreading and told me to call her if I could at all. "When she feels you're ready, call my office." I nodded, probably looking as disappointed as I felt, but he kept on, "Just try eight lessons, then call me. Please. I'm serious. Once you learn how to do this, anything you want to do will be open to you with that voice." I thought he might have been trying to make me feel better. I'm not so sure. This guy is probably the most well-respected choral director in the area. I really got the feeling that he wanted to take me in, just on the basis of my voice, but couldn't because of the sightreading.
So I don't know. It made me feel better about not getting in. I've got the teacher's phone number. I want to give her a call, but I don't know if I can afford the lessons right now. I admit, I'm a little scared. I have a mental block on sightreading. Always have. To me, it's like this mystical process that I'll never quite be able to pull together. Which really, means that I should kick myself in the butt and take the lessons.
In the meantime, I'm looking for a way to get singing regularly again. I wonder if the Gilbert & Sullivan Society is still around...
Posted by Lisa at September 1, 2000 05:31 PM
