September 07, 2001
Last Day
Today is my last day as a Services Receptionist. I'm more than a little nervous, go figure. I've been doing this job for over four years. That's the longest I've ever been at any job. In the four years I've been here, I've rediscovered the internet (including and most especially MUSHing) and taught myself HTML, going from a really bleah page on Geocities to the wonder you see before you (heh). I've taught myself TONS about computers in general, learning to use programs like Excel, Word, Outlook, Paint Shop Pro, Arachnophilia... almost all self-taught.
I've seen countless people come and go, both from the reception team and support as well. With few exceptions, I was here when each of the team leaders in support were hired. I've made friends, and one or two enemies. I've laughed and cried and seethed and rejoiced. I got started as a writer because of this job. (Boredom -- what else was I going to do between phone calls?) I've been the star of the team, and I've been the black sheep.
When I started here, in May of 1997, I was a nervous temp on my first office job ever. I'd been out of the hospital for about two weeks, after a four day stay for depression. During that hospital stay I'd been fired from my last job. (Yeah, I got fired while I was in the hospital. That's another long story.) About a month after I started, the company hired me away from the temp service. Since then I've had five supervisors, four desks, two chairs, at least two dozen coworkers (temp and permanent, in a department that ranges from 4-6 people), three computers, and two phones. When I started, I'd been living with my boyfriend for about nine months. I was 24 years old.
Since then, I've had a couple more bouts of depression, moved four times, broke up with the boyfriend (in '98, not moving out until a year later), started college again... In many ways, I'm not the same person I was four years ago. I've... dare I say it? I've grown up. A lot. Heh. A lot of this journal has to do with me growing up, doesn't it? It's certainly taken me long enough. Not that I'm done yet, mind you.
But yeah, I'm having a few mixed feelings about this. I'm excited. ("Excited and scared," as Little Red Riding Hood would say.) I'm worried (surprise surprise). What am I worried about? Well, aside from the usual fretting over whether or not I'll be any good at this job, I'm a little worried about school. Will I be able to take my classes? Will I ever finish, or will the lure of a good job keep me here? How hard will it be to leave this job completely to go to graduate school? I feel like I made the right decision in taking this job, but my plans and priorities seem to be shifting from day to day now. I'll work it out eventually, but for now I feel like I'm walking in sand, the ground beneath my feet shifting and moving with each step.
I'm something of a mess right now. Hell, I'm only moving about three rows over. Imagine what I'd be like if I were actually leaving the company!
Posted by Lisa at September 7, 2001 09:25 AM
