November 12, 1999
Happy Anniversary To Me
As you might have noticed on the sidebar, I started keeping an online journal one year ago today. The "One Year Ago Today" links are going to be sketchy, as I wasn't terribly consistent a year ago. (Yeah, I know, like I'm Ms. Consistency now.)
Anyway, to celebrate, I decided to move this to a new format. When I started this, I had no idea I'd learn so much about HTML. I had no idea I'd want to. I had no idea this would become so important to me. It's an addiction, this need to ramble about what's going through my mind to an unseen and mostly unknown audience. But I love it, and I don't see myself giving it up any time soon.
I've learned about a lot more than just HTML. I've learned how these words, addressed to no one in particular, could actually bring me closer to the people I love. My mom is probably the best example. Keeping up with me through this journal, I imagine she's gotten to know more about me than she would have just by talking. There are just things that you don't think about telling people you talk to all the time. Little things, usually, but sometimes big things too. There are some issues that are easier to address 'out there' than directly to the person involved. Maybe that's cheating. Maybe it isn't. In either case, I've had some wonderful soul-searching conversations with family and friends based on things that came from this journal.
I've learned things about myself. By keeping a written record, it's been easier to spot trends in my thinking, pit traps that I fall into over and over again. Once or twice I've even been able to avoid some of those traps, simply through noticing that they're there. I can relive my old triumphs, and memorialize my old defeats. My history is my own, and in choosing to share it with the public, I leave a mark, however tiny, to show that I was here.
Online journallers spend a lot of time talking about their 'why' for keeping a journal. "What's your why?" we ask each other. I do this for me -- to develop my ideas and thoughts, to piece together who I am and where I've been, to remember. But I also do this for an audience -- to keep me honest, to point out things I missed, and, in all honesty, to remind me that there are people who care out there listening. Thanks for being one of them.
Posted by Lisa at November 12, 1999 04:05 PM
