November 30, 1999
Arrested Development
Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life. For starters, I got arrested.
My aunt's funeral was at 10 am. Mom told me the family was going to meet at 9:30. Unfortunately, I didn't leave my house until nearly 9 am. So... I was driving a tad fast. I looked up, too late to see a state trooper with a radar gun pointed right at me. I slowed down, but it was too late.
He pulled out behind me and turned on his lights. I pulled over -- have I mentioned that authority figures make me nervous? They do. The first time I was ever pulled over (this past July -- more on that in a moment), my hands were shaking, and shook for about half an hour afterwards.
So there I am, hands shaking, as the trooper comes up to the car. I hand him my license and registration and all that, and he asks, "Ma'am, do you know what the speed limit is back there?"
My brain was trying to freeze. "F-f-fifty?"
"That's right. I clocked you at 73. Where are you headed?"
I explained that I was going to my aunt's funeral and that I was running late. I think that fact, combined with how shaky I was, made him feel sorry for me. He was sympathetic and said he'd hurry.
A few moments later, he came to the car, "Ms. Nichols, I'm afraid there's a slight problem. I have to ask you to step out of the car."
"Wh-What's wrong?"
"I'll explain once you get out of the car."
So I got out, getting more scared all the time. He made me leave my car keys in the front seat, and led me to the back of the car. "Ms. Nichols, I have a warrant here for your arrest."
"What?!" I went numb as panic started to set in. "Why?" I couldn't figure out what I had possibly done. Had they gotten me confused with someone else?
He explained about a ticket I'd gotten back in July for expired plates. I'd forgotten to pay. I nodded dumbly and expected him to read me my rights at any minute. He did, in fact, look at me as if he was about to frisk me. Instead he said, "You don't have anything illegal on your person, do you?"
"No!" My composure was slipping.
"Any drugs or weapons?"
"No!"
"Okay. Now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to handcuff you. It's procedure."
And sure enough, he got the handcuffs out and started to put them on me. Well that was all she wrote. I hadn't cried about my aunt, although I'd wanted to. I just wasn't able to for some reason. But as soon as that metal touched my wrist, I burst into tears. I was scared, humiliated, angry. There I was standing on the side of the road with handcuffs on. That was the catalyst it took to get me started crying.
I stood there sobbing, and then, wonder of wonders, the cop started to apologize, "Lisa, I'm really sorry. It was a bench warrant and I didn't have a choice." He looked at me carefully, "You understand that I don't want to do this...?"
He kept on until I reassured him that I didn't blame him at all. Then he helped me into his car and told me what I had to do to get free: pay bond. He took the handcuffs off, saying, "I don't think you're going to try to hurt me." No really? Yeah, I'll cry on you to death.
He took me to an ATM and I got the money, he gave me a receipt, and I went on my merry way, sans speeding ticket -- the original reason he pulled me over.
However, by the time I got back on my way, it was nearly 10 am. I didn't get to the funeral home until the ministe was saying the last prayer. I missed the whole damn thing.
Believe me, I beat myself up all the way in about how irresponsible I was, how if I'd paid the ticket to start with, that whole mess never would have happened, etc. I ended up in a horrible state of mind.
After the prayer, I went up and sat by my mom in the front row. People started coming up row by row as they filed out.
I was upset. I was crying. And after a few moments of talking to people, I was hostile. People from my old church kept coming up and saying, "Boy, we sure do miss you, Lisa." This is Church of Christ code for "You better come back to church or else you're going to go to hell!" Trust me on that. One woman, as she hugged me, got all conversational, "Now, where do you live now?" (Also CofC code: "Are you close enough that you can come to church here, or should we call another congregation to come after you?") I was thinking, "Lady, get out of my face!"
Like I said, I was hostile. Once it was over, I got in the car with my stepfather. While we were waiting for my mom, he singsonged, "Good morning, Lisa, how're you?" He was teasing me, thinking I'd overslept and that's why I was late. Hostile me replied cheerily, "I got arrested this morning, how're you?" I said it just to watch him freak, which he did. "Arrested?!" I told him why and he started to fluster about my irresponsibility ("How long did you have that ticket?" "Long enough.") but between the hostile wall around me and my mom showing up, he stopped.
I also think I saw ghosts yesterday. I kept thinking I saw my Uncle Eddie in group surrounding and consoling my grandma. I think it finally hit me that he isn't coming back either. It's almost like I mourned both he and my aunt yesterday.
Posted by Lisa at November 30, 1999 03:05 PM
