Divisions and Precisions

And now I feel bad

Apparently I was a little too sincere yesterday. Clearly, I need to make my April Fool's jokes a little more preposterous. No, I'm not back in touch with my ex-husband, and as far as I know, he's never found this site (although, weirdly, in my referrer logs yesterday someone came to the site on a search for "Lisa Ann Bentley"). Anyway, I'm sorry if anybody was genuinely excited and/or happy for me. In retrospect, I should have carried it further and said we were getting remarried or something. That might have tipped my hand a little better. No, the only man in my life right now is Rumpus, and I'm content that way. :)

The "big entry" I was originally referring to had to do with the fact that I went back to church this past Sunday--the church I grew up in, in fact. I'm still struggling with how I feel about it. I enjoyed myself, and it seems to have honestly gotten a LOT more liberal since I was there last. My biggest conflict comes from the fact that so many people there now seem to expect that, after one Sunday night service, that I'm back for good. Not so sure about that.

My mom and I have talked about it, and we're both experiencing the same basic conflict: trying to reconcile the people we are now with the people they remember us as. On the one hand, it's comforting to be around people who've known me since birth, but on the other hand, that gives them expectations of me that I'm not certain I want to fulfill.

So, yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's not like it's a decision I have to make RIGHT NOW or anything. It's a process. I'm sure I'll be writing about it in the future.