March 05, 1999
The Doctor is In
I love my friend Brian. I really, really do. If anyone can ever help me screw my head on straight about anything, it's him. I also love email. I can rant and ramble and pour my heart out to someone and get an answer the next day. And in Brian's case, it's usually the very answer I needed to hear. He has a way of stating the obvious and making it utterly apparent to me, where I hadn't seen it before. He pointed out to me that I am at a beginning... and an ending... not the middle of the journey. He says:
"Dr. Chewie's advice - KEEP ON DOING WHATEVER IT IS YOU'VE BEEN DOING. Will you have high hopes? Knowing you, yes. Should you be prepared for them not to come true? Absolutely. Should you just be completely pessimistic about it? Hell, no! BE PATIENT!!! Look, life works out the way it's supposed to. And that's my answer to EVERYTHING."
Dr. Chewie. Hmph. I could explain that, but whatever you're thinking is probably not as much fun as the truth, so... The thing about Brian, he knows the questions to ask and the comments to make that will make me think, without just saying, "Well, you're wrong, and here's why." That's one of his better traits, I think. So he, with one email, took me from blathering and rambling and confused, to calm and more focused. I knew all along that this situation would raise a lot of questions, and would make me think. My problem, after this last weekend, was that I didn't know what to think. So my thoughts started to spin in a chaotic circle and I didn't really get anywhere at all, except confused. I needed a rather neutral third party who knew me well to come along and untangle the lines I'd twisted around myself. With the lines straightened out, I could start to think about what really needed to be thought about, if that makes sense. No conclusions. I was saying as much to Jeff earlier tonight. It's too early to draw conclusions. And I need to remember that the only person I can control is me.
It will all turn out well. How? I don't know. It's a mystery.
