September 04, 1999
Searching
Apartment hunting today, whee! I actually managed to drag myself out of bed by about 10:30 or so, and left the house by 11:00. In other words, I'm tiiiiired. But, I went to three different apartment complexes, and I have three more leads. Two of the three I looked at today I really liked. They had all the things I want (dishwasher, air conditioning, washer/dryer), I like the location, they're within my price range, and they're available. That last is a real treat, considering that this is a college town and all the students just moved in.
Money might be tighter than I thought, but we'll see. The two complexes I really liked have relatively small move-in costs. If all goes well, I would start moving around the middle of October. That works pretty well, I think. It gives me two weeks to gradually move stuff over. I feel less overwhelmed at the thought of that. I'm also thinking of moving all my own boxes, but hiring movers to move all my furniture. Assuming I can afford it, of course. One quote I got for two men and a moving truck was $50 an hour. So I'm left looking at my apartment wondering how many hours it would take to move my furniture. Two hours maybe? Three?
While I was looking at the different apartments, I was thinking This could be my place. Mine and no one else's. It was an exciting thought. I think I can handle moving in small steps. Not a single moving day, or even a moving weekend. Maybe a moving month. Yeah, a moving month sounds good. Of course, that means for that time frame I'll be sort of unsettled, but... I'll be unsettled one way or the other until I move anyway.
I'm wondering how Max is going to take the move. He's been acting strange again. Thursday night he tried to run out the front door as I came in. This is the cat who used to be terrified of the outdoors. He's been an indoor cat the whole time I've had him. He was so afraid, that if you did set him outside, if the door was open, he'd flee back inside. Thursday night, when I wouldn't let him out, he stood at the screen door yowling at the top of his lungs. He bitched at me until after Hollingsworth left for work and I went upstairs. The only thing I can think of is that there might have been a cat in heat outside, but Max is neutered. Has been since he was old enough for the surgery. I'm clueless. My response to any weirdness from him lately is just that he's picking up on the tension and weirdness in the house right now. Or he's just cracked. This is always a possibility.
I have to hand it to the Bud Light advertising people. The "Real American Heroes" radio ad campaign absolutely cracks me up. They salute such unsung heroes as "Mr. Giant Foam Finger Maker" and "Mr. Driving Range Ball Picker-Upper", complete with a red-blooded Jon Bon Jovi/Bruce Springsteen sound-alike wailing a big production number behind an absolutely straight-faced announcer. If I were a beer-drinker, I'd probably try their beer. Just because those ads are so damn silly, and make me giggle. Then again, making me giggle usually isn't a real challenge.
At what point does controlling your feelings become a good thing? I'm really struggling with this one. Again. I've always thought that controlling feelings was a bad thing, if it was even possible, and that indeed I should just concontrate on controlling my actions. Can you really control how you feel about something? Or is that just an illusion? My own feelings on a lot of different issues are a confused mess right now. Feelings that I thought I was over have been coming back with a vengeance. I'm hanging in there. I'm working on controlling my actions. I fail sometimes, but... I'm trying.
