October 06, 1999
One Day More
Right. So if I'm so busy, why am I updating? Good question. Well, I have to take a break for lunch, right? So I did. Not a lot to say, except that I am stressed. I've gotten a lot done today, much more than I had anticipated, but I'm at that stage where no matter how much I get done, it seems like there's that much more to do. I mean, I can see that I'm making progress, but it's like running down a long hallway in a dream. No matter how far you've come, there's that much farther to go.
Needless to say, I'm getting a little discouraged. And tired. I'm paying for so many months of laziness. Ohhhh am I paying. I'm hoping I don't have to run to the store today, but I think I'm going to. I'm about to run out of trash bags. I'm forgetting a million things. I know I am. Feh. The words aren't coming. I'll try again later.
8:41 pm
Wow. One more day of hardcore packing to go. I'm exhausted. It's early enough that I probably should still be doing things, but I'm beat. However, in addition to packing and cleaning, I got lots of errands done, setting up utilities, shutting off utilities, getting my address changed in various places, doing some shopping for various necessary items. Plus I went by the new house, and took some things over there with me. And, I admit, I wanted a chance to peek around again. Two more days!
A cappella music always, always catches my attention. Driving over to the house today "Road to Nowhere" by the Talking Heads came on. It starts out with a great, almost choral-sounding, a cappella section. It always just tickles my ears. It also, unfortunately, makes me want to pull out all the a cappella music I have, which is mostly limited to one Nylons tape and some gospel stuff. I have no idea where any of it is. And even if I did, I'd just need to pack it.
While I was in K-mart, waiting in line, I ended up behind a mom and two little boys. The oldest was probably three, while the younger one was probably about seven months old. I admit it. I'm one of those people who makes faces at babies when I'm behind them in line. He was sitting in the cart, and he was adorable. Chubby cheeks and big brown eyes. Once I caught his attention, he kept beaming at me, showing me both teeth. I talked to him a bit and he laughed and kicked and waved his arms. I miss that age group immensely. I worked for two years in a Montessori school, working with the kids under the age of two, primarily. I talked to his brother a little bit too, but it was the baby who caught me. Babies always do.
I had another odd moment when I went out to the car after shopping. As I sat down and closed the door, the sunlight caught me at a particularly cruel angle as I glimpsed myself in the rearview mirror. I just sort of stared for a moment, wondering who the old hag was in the mirror. Seriously. My skin looked splotchy, and there seemed to be icky, dark hairs sprouting everywhere on my face. I saw the beginnings of wrinkles. For a minute I thought I was going to cry, wondering when I had started looking old. Then I moved, and the sunlight shifted, and I looked like me again.
It's very odd to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. But, I'll bet even when I do look like a hag, I'll still be able to make babies smile.
