September 30, 2002
Not a bad day, but...
Good lord am I tired. I did some deliveries this morning on campus, and so walked a lot more than usual, uphill. I was fine until I sat down in my 1 o'clock class, then thought I was going to fall asleep right there. I made it through my 2 o'clock, then came home--which I'd actually already planned to do, since I'm finishing up my paper.
I'm glad I went to my 2 o'clock, which is Philosophy of Art. We got our first tests back. Heh. I discovered that my professor reads off the names of everybody who got an A or an A-, then going over the test means that he picks people to read their answers for individual questions aloud. I got an A-, and had to read one of my answers aloud. The approval-seeking part of me was sort of pleased, but I also felt like I was in grade school again.
And finally, I got email today about another job on campus, asking if I'm still interested in working in the library. Keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to avoid retail hell, which is where I was heading...
September 29, 2002
The paper is going quite well. If I don't finish tonight, I'll have time to finish tomorrow. Robinson Crusoe isn't finished, but oh well. Watch me be heartbroken. I'll finish it eventually, I promise. For now, I think it's about bedtime.
That's me, the eternal mommy figure...
I want more weekend. Now, please. Another day or two should do it.
So, I just got home from Mer's house. After dinner, while the menfolk watched football, us ladies retired to the parlor where Mer and Julie taught me and Kayla (Mer's soon-to-be stepdaughter) how to crochet. Now I want to make an afghan. Then when Kayla went to bed we played Zombies and spent the next four hours blowing up zombies and screwing each other over. All in all, a fun evening, but one I think I'll be paying for tomorrow, when I'll be staying up late to finish my paper.
September 28, 2002
This is so wrong...
I've almost finished my pile of theory reading, which was MUCH more time-consuming than I'd anticipated, due to the fact that I had to keep re-reading over and over just to understand it. So, no Robinson Crusoe, and no paper. I find myself almost resenting the plans I have for tonight and tomorrow, and wanting to cancel so I'll have more time to finish it all. How wrong is that? I want to cancel gaming so I can do homework? The fuck?
I feel stressed. :(
Whoa. I just checked my music. That's appropriate.
Today is Homework Day. I have about a hundred pages of Robinson Crusoe to read, fifteen or so pages of assorted literary theory, and a two page paper to write on those pages--which I'm going to try desperately NOT to get a B- on. I should also get started reading the play for African American theatre, since I have to write a paper on it this week, but that's at the bottom of the list.
See, I've learned from past mistakes. the television is not on. There will be no E! True Hollywood Story to distract me from my work. Really.
September 27, 2002
This hurts my brain, but in a good way.
Yes, I know. I'm a posting fool right now. I'm waiting for dinner to finish cooking.
1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
Reading something that isn't for class. I also love curling up on my couch and watching movies. I feel very bear-like about my apartment sometimes. It's mine and I hibernate there.
2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
Kick off my shoes, greet the cats who are usually right there by the door, then go to the bathroom. I don't know why. There's some sort of trigger in my brain, when I come home from anywhere, I gotta go. Hey, you asked.
3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells?
Freshly cut grass, which I'm actually smelling as we speak.
4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
Sad to say, by myself. I enjoy being with my friends, very much, but when it comes to being relaxed, I'm more so by myself.
5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
Algebra. Math word problems tickle a part of my brain. I never really realized that until I took a math class for the first time in over ten years. I'm way way more of a math person than I ever gave myself credit for. I still remember an astonishing amount of the stuff I learned back in high school. Scary.
Public transportation, yay
Riding the bus home today, I saw a woman with a goatee. Granted, I'm not 100% certain this person was female, but call it about 95%. Now, I have, to my eternal consternation, some stray hairs on my chin and face that I'm constantly plucking and trimming. That's not what I'm talking about. I saw this woman on a profile, and she had a goatee. I kept thinking, there but for the grace of some crazy hormones go I. I couldn't stop looking, and looking made my head feel funny.
I had to stop and wonder though: am I fat enough that people look at me with the same sense of unreality? I doubt it, but...
September 26, 2002
I taste like Peanut
I taste like Peanut Butter.
I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?
Can I Be A Neo-Luddite?
This has been an INSANE day. Good god.
Well okay. Let me qualify that. The middle part of the day was marvelous. I woke up, and discovered that my laptop didn't want to start up at all. I let it go, cause I had stuff to do.
I discovered, chatting with some folks this morning, that there is such a genre as fantasy romance. As in, romance novels with faeries and dragons and such. I so want to write one. Just because it'd be funny. Brand suggested the title "The Sword in the Mound", about a faerie princess and a barbarian. It makes me giggle.
Then this afternoon, I went to the Detroit Institute of Arts with Dawn and Jason and Justin. I love that place. I haven't been there in ages. The best thing was that I got to see one of my most favorite paintings ever. I can remember the first time I saw it back in high school. I just stopped and stared. I still do. It's not a huge painting, but it's good-sized, and the colors just leap at you from the wall. And Justin did remarkably well for an 18 month old. He seemed pretty fond of the Italian Renaissance art.
And then I came home. I sat down to log on to check email and such before doing homework. No internet connection. I messed with the network, rebooted, walked through a bunch of stuff. Nothing. So I call tech support. Everything's fine on their end. Good to know, but it still doesn't work. So he suggests connecting a computer directly to my cable modem instead of to the network router. Great. I could do that, if my laptop was working. I hang up, and call Gateway support.
I'll spare the details of all the people I talked to, but in short, my hard drive crashed. I had to completely reformat the hard drive and reinstall everything. I AM SO GLAD I just backed up all of my writing files to the desktop computer last night. So, I lost no writing, but I lost tons of MUSH scene logs, all my notes for my Exalted game (and character sheets for my NPCs), email, addresses... you know, the usual stuff. Still, it could've been worse. I would've died if I'd lost any of my writing.
So, after three hours, my laptop is working again. Per my ISP tech support, I unplugged my modem to reset it, then plugged it directly into the laptop. No internet. Of course. Sure. I call tech support again. He says, "How many lights are lit on the modem?" I tell him two, for the PC and the cable. "Okay," he says, "I'd like you press the power button." The WHAT? Uh, yeah. So I turn the damn thing on, and lo, the internet exists again! I felt like such a moron. No worries, says he, the guy who told me to reset it should have let me know that the lights didn't mean the power was on. Whatever. I'm an ass. But I have internet again. And a laptop.
Did I mention that I came home early to study? For my test tomorrow? And to work on my paper for Monday? Yeah. Now it's quarter to eleven, and I'm brain dead.
I hate computers.
My laptop is not cooperating this morning. It won't boot up. I get the little screen that says Windows is starting up, and then it spontaneously reboots. It won't start in safe mode either. Same thing. I might have to call tech support. Fucking Gateway tech support.
September 25, 2002
"Mostly evangelical in doctrine, megachurches have changed the religious experience for thousands of worshipers who come from miles around for more than sermons and prayers. Usually founded or headed by charismatic pastors, the market-savvy churches target busy baby boomers and their kids, promoting one-stop shopping under their roofs. Take in a sermon, work out marital problems, then work out at the health club. Sip a latte at the coffee shop, browse in the bookstore and make a deposit at the credit union."
"And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple. And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves." (Mark 11:15-17)
Is it a sign of brain fatigue when you forget what word you're typing in the middle of typing it? I was complimenting a friend on an artistic endeavour, so I started typing "These are so awesome!" Then I happened to glance at my screen, and saw that what I'd actually said was, "These are so awful!"
Fortunately, I managed to explain myself, but jeez. I can't type for crap just lately either. I mean, for example, I typed 'mittle' above originally instead of 'middle'. I've been griping lately about my body reacting to such a radical shift in how much physical activity I get, I suppose I forgot about the mental activity. And I didn't think I was a mental couch potato before school started, I swear.
September 24, 2002
...and I'm starting to hate my upstairs neighbors with what could grow to be a legendary passion.
I went to bed an hour ago, and tossed and turned. I'm tired. It's fair to say I'm exhausted. I'm just not in the least bit drowsy. So I'm sacrificing the last of the Bailey's Irish Cream I have in the house and seeing if that might help. Also considering some Advil, since I'm the Queen of Ache since school started.
I got old when I wasn't looking.
Okay, I'm not, really, but still... cool!
|You are Leia|
|You are Princess Leia from Star Wars. You are very smart and very determined. You may have trouble letting your emotions show, though. You are very sensible but also very brave. You rock!|
Someone catches on quick...
Stolen from Brand, don't ask where he got it, because the answer scares me.
1. Gender? Most of the time.
2. Age Range? Anywhere from 18-40, I'm not picky. Oh wait, you mean me? Thirties. (Gack.)
3. First game ever played? Champions, when I was a senior in high school, on the back of the choir tour bus, further cementing my geekiness.
4. Last game played? Exalted
5. Do you play: Weekly/Biweekly/Monthly/Every DAY man!! Enh, probably biweekly now. Sort of.
6. How many times did your parents throw away your games? Never. I got into gaming after I done growed up.
7. How many times did your parents say, "You're wasting your money!" Often, but never about gaming.
8. How many times did your parents say, "You'll grow out of it!" They still say it, but again, not about gaming.
9. How many times did your parents say, "Better than crack, I guess." When I was a kid, they didn't have crack, sonny.
10. How many times did your parents actually buy you an RPG gift? Not ever.
11. Do you have dice? What the hell kind of a question is that? If you answer no, you obviously shouldn't be taking this quiz.
12. How did you acquire your first (set of) dice? I, uh, bought them.
13. How many dice do you own now? Two bags' worth.
14. What does your favorite set look like? They're not really a set anymore, they're sort of mix and match. But I do have some kinda nifty opalescent dark blue ones.
15. Will you be buried with your dice? I hadn't thought of that, but you know, I might.
16. Do you remember your first character? Barely.
17. Do you still have your first character? God no, I disavow her.
18. How did your first character end up? I think when the game ended, she was pinned under a picnic table.
19. Did you ever dream about your character? I've dreamt about my characters, I've dreamt about other people's characters, I've created characters based on a dream.
20. Did you ever frame your character sheet? I'm not that much of a freak.
21. How many games do you own? Er, not as many as some folks, lemme think... nine, I think.
22. How many more games do you want to own? Enh, it's hard to get me to try new games.
23. What game do you love the most? Tribe 8.
24. What game do you despise? Despise is a strong word. I don't think I've ever played a game I actually despise, although Hero System gives me a headache.
25. What is the kookiest game you've ever seen/owned? HoL.
26. Are you a Con Virgin? Alas, no, I was deflowered in Oklahoma, of all places.
27. How many Cons have you been to? Just the one.
28. Have you ever dressed up for a Con? It wasn't that kind of a con. Except for the usual pajama wearing, teddy bear toting Malkavians.
29. Ever one a prize at a Con? Yes, actually.
30. Been a guest at a Con? Not for lack of trying, but no.
31. Do you have a shrine built to your Plush Cthulhu? I have a shrine built to the real thing!
32. Have you made a giant d20 out of a whack of d4s? No, but that idea cracks me up.
33. Do you keep your dice in a special bag? Two special bags!
34. Do you have any specific gaming rituals you follow? I roll all my dice, taking out the ones that roll their highest number (like 20 on a d20), rerolling until there's only a few dice left. The ones that are left go back in the bag, because they're obviously broken that day.
35. Do you ever think you'll stop gaming? Nah.
If you can't beat 'em...
I always say, if you can't find a clique where you're at, bring your own!
Yes, it's true, the WHOLE of my internet WORLD went out and got LJs yesterday. Check my friends page now and you'll see some of my nearest and dearest. This makes me absurdly happy, to be able to read random postings from folks I care about. It's like email, only you know, not directed right at me.
September 23, 2002
First, the good news: I have a job now. It's a ten hour a week work study job, but it's money coming in, and that's a start. Classes are going pretty well, and I'm generally pretty happy with life.
Well okay. It's not that there's bad news, exactly. I received a minor smackdown in my Writing about Literature class. I got my first paper back tonight. I got a B-. I hadn't realized how truly arrogant I am about my intellectual capabilities until I saw that grade. My first thought was "I don't get B minuses in English!!" After looking over the paper, I realized that yes, yes I do, if I turn in a B- paper. I've gotten away with being supremely lazy with my papers in my other classes, and this time I can't do that. I suppose it's a wake up call I needed, but ouch.
I took another blow to my ego tonight as well, but this one wasn't one I needed. As class was starting, the professor made several announcements. One of them went something like this: "I wanted to remind everyone that this is a class where we'll be sharing a lot of disparate ideas on some controversial subjects, and we need to make sure we respect each other despite that. I feel like I need to address this because during the break last class period I heard some disrespectful comments regarding students who are overweight, and I wanted to make it clear that isn't acceptable, and goes against English Department policy." (It's true, every English class syllabus emphasizes that need for respect.)
Now, on the one hand, I was pleased to hear that this professor, at least, takes this particular policy seriously. On the other hand, while I'm not the only overweight person in my class, I'm definitely the largest, and I'm definitely the most vocal in class. So, paranoid or not, my logic is telling me that somebody was making fat jokes about me.
I had two reactions to this. At first, I was profoundly embarrassed, and wanted to sink under my desk. Coming on the heels of my B-, I felt like I should just sit in the corner and be quiet, so as not to attract any further attention to my fat self.
And then I got pissed.
How DARE someone try to shame me into silence. How dare someone dismiss my ideas and my knowledge and my thoughts simply because I'm fat. B- or no, I'm a valuable member of that class, and I make worthwhile contributions to the discussions.
I have never felt marginalized before, not intellectually, at least. Not as a woman, not as a fat person. Tonight I felt for the first time that someone might feel that my ideas lack worth simply because of my body size. Fuck that and fuck them.
I will not sit in the corner and try to be invisible. I will not be ashamed of who I am.
September 22, 2002
Today has been a remarkably secluded day. I was up much too late last night running a session of Exalted for Brand, so slept until about 11:00. I probably would have slept longer, but my neighbors woke me up having a massive, screaming, sobbing fight.
Now, you have to understand, I don't live in a paper-walled apartment. I never hear my neighbors talking or watching TV. Once in a great while I'll hear something louder, but not often. This morning, however, I was awakened by the woman upstairs screaming and sobbing, "What did I ever do to you?" The fact that I heard the words that clearly was rather alarming. I spent about half an hour debating whether or not to call the police, particularly since there was a lot of stomping going on. Based on the stuff I've seen carried out of the apartment today, I have a feeling someone moved out. (You know, we used to tease my grandma about watching her neighbors out of her window and gossiping about their activities...)
Anyway, so yeah. Secluded today. No neighbors have heard anything from me today, that's for sure. After I woke up I spent the afternoon alternately napping and digesting huge chunks of Robinson Crusoe and Marxist literary theory. Then this evening I worked on compound interest problems for my math class. The only living beings I've talked to today are the cats. I haven't even talked to anybody online, save for emailing my Brit lit prof a response on my reading.
It's been kind of nice. I mean, I never have what you might call a noisy life even on a busy day, but it's been kind of nice.
Oh, and just as a note on Exalted, I think I'm starting to get the hang on running it, sort of. My game's ending up sort of Conan/pulp style: wandering sorceror finding strange places and evils to deal with, with his two lovely warrior companions. Of course, this is me, so there's more to it than that. I'm pretty pleased with last night's session though. I usually start a game with a whole plot in mind. Last night I started with a setting (a city where it's rained constantly for years, stolen from One Hundred Years of Solitude) and a potential villainess (Melusina, a siren complete with imagery stolen from Possession). Of course, the villainess, in true pulp style, was evil and seductive and alluring in order to steal our hero's soul.
Wow. I think this is the ramblingest entry I've written in ages.
September 21, 2002
Out of print?!
Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing is out of print on DVD. How is that possible?! I guess I'm lucky enough to have it on VHS, but damn it, I want widescreen. I want DVD.
Friday Five, a day late
1. Would you say that you're good at keeping in touch with people?
Pretty good, most of the time. Generally, if I'm not keeping in touch with close friends, that means I'm in a prickly depressed withdrawn stage.
2. Which communication method do you usually prefer/use: e-mail, telephone, snail mail, blog comments, or meeting in person? Why?
Usually email, blog comments, and MUSHing. Sometimes, though, I just get a craving to hear a friend's voice, and that's when I call. Despite spending lots of time at school, I'm pretty much a hermit a lot of the time. I don't spend a lot of face to face time with my friends, mostly because the ones that are in the area have lives as busy as mine, busier in most cases.
3. Do you have an instant messenger program? How many? Why/why not? How often do you use it?
I use AIM for folks who don't MUSH. I used to use ICQ and Yahoo as well, but I realized that I didn't talk to anybody much on either program. I usually use AIM on the weekdays to talk to my employed non-MUSHing friends.
4. Do most of your close friends live nearby or far away?
It's pretty evenly split right now. I have close friends who are within a half-hour's drive, and I have close friends on the other side of the country, and I have close friends outside of the country.
5. Are you an "out of sight, out of mind" person, or do you believe that "distance makes the heart grow fonder"?
It depends a lot on the relationship I had with the person before the distance happens. If it's someone I just sometimes chat with, then it's pretty much out of sight, out of mind. If it's someone I actually miss, then when I get to talk to them again, I'm usually fonder. :)
This is what happens around
This is what happens around here if I walk away from the computer for more than a few minutes.
September 20, 2002
The cats woke me up this morning at 7. Pooka was literally in my face, nosing and kneading at my arm, trying to get me to pet her while I was asleep. In fact, I was petting her in my sleep. For 20 minutes I laid there and tried to go back to sleep for a bit, but Pooka wouldn't have anything but my complete attention. And of course, when Pooka gets attention, Rumpus decides he has to have some too, so proceeded to climb all over my head and chew on my hair.
I felt so loved. Really.
September 17, 2002
I should so be doing homework...
What X-Men Character are You?
Of course I am.
At least I'm not a Child of Uranus...
this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim
The cats are trying to a) kill me, b) drive me crazy, or c) just keep me up all night. I went to bed over two hours ago, but thanks to cats skittering all over the house, cats sprawling on me lovingly and raising my body temperature by thirty degrees, cats crawling under the covers with me to attack and slash at the buttons on my nightgown and therefore my chest, I'm still awake.
Did I mention I was going jobhunting tomorrow, starting with a temp agency interview at 9:30? I love my cats, but I'm going to kill them.
(Okay, so maybe the coffee ice cream at 10:30 wasn't such a good idea either.)
September 16, 2002
Oh my. I'm in the
Oh my. I'm in the throes of a geekiness that's lasted for a couple of days now. Two of the classes I'm taking this semester are philosophy of art and something that's called "Writing about Literature", but really, it's an introductory course in critical theory--as in, different approaches and ideas about criticizing literature. I didn't really know there was such a thing until a a few years ago, and I'm riveted. I'm not sure I can explain why, but just all these pure ideas... I don't know. With the literary criticism, I feel like I'm eavesdropping on this extended and brilliant conversation and I'm dying to get involved. The art philosophy stuff is similar, but really only because I keep comparing it mentally to the literary ideas. I'm absolutely intrigued, and I'm at the point where I should be considering areas of study for grad school should I decide to go, after all...
(Just think, you were spared a full entry on this topic. ;))
September 15, 2002
Budding Feminism, Wilting Self-Image
I keep meaning to write about school. Overall, it's going really well. I love being in school full time, I'm enjoying my classes, my professors are, for the most part, interesting and good. But I made a post last night to a new mailing list for fat feminists that got me started thinking.
Since I turned 30 a couple months ago, I've been thinking pretty regularly about my perpetually single state. (Granted, I'm divorced, but that was eight years ago.) It's been four years since I really even dated anyone, and sometimes I despair of "finding someone", partly due to my size and partly due to my own tendency towards shyness and being a hermit.
No sooner do I start to despair, than it starts to make me angry at how much my self-image seems dependent on having a man. I mean, I have an incredibly full life. I've finally managed to go back to college after being away for eleven years, I'm studying what I love, and I think I have a lot of promise as a writer and teacher. I have friends both online and off, and if I don't go out every night, so what? That's never been something I've been interested in. So... why is it I constantly feel like I have to defend my life because I have no husband or child?
I mean, I understand why. We're being constantly bombarded with the message that women need to "have it all": career, home, family, the works. If you're a woman who chooses anything different, be it a stay at home mom or a single mom or just a single woman, then society looks askance at you. I've reached the age where most of my friends are married and starting to have kids, and I'm really starting to feel like the token single person.
Sometimes I'm not quite sure if I'm still single because I want to be, or just because "I'm fat and nobody wants me". I end up wondering if my stance of "I don't have time for a serious relationship right now" might not be a case of sour grapes. Ultimately, I'm bothered that despite my intelligence, my talent, my wit, and my humor, I still feel somehow imcomplete because there isn't someone around to constantly remind me that I'm physically attractive too.
The weirdest thing about this, is that I don't feel most of these things because of anything anybody says to me. I mean, it's not like my friends are constantly trying to set me up with people (which might actually be kind of cool) or my mom is always asking me when I'm going to get married or have kids. All of this is stuff that I've internalized from messages around me. I've spent the last four years trying to feel complete as a single woman, and until I turned thirty, I was doing a pretty good job of it. Now with that one little number, I'm back to struggling with the same old questions about who I am and what sort of life I really want.
September 13, 2002
I will stop anything I'm
I will stop anything I'm doing. I will come from the far reaches of the apartment (stop laughing, it's a big apartment!). I am riveted to the television when this comes on. And no, it's not the Joe Boxer commercial.
Friday Five, for the heck of it
1. What was/is your favorite subject in school? Why?
That'd have to be literature, since I'm majoring in it. I'm a reader, and this gives me an excuse to read and read and read and then talk about it with other people who read and read and read. I love it. Plus I think it makes me a better writer.
2. Who was your favorite teacher? Why?
Tough question. In high school, it'd have to be Mr. Bushey, the choir director. He managed to be completely entertaining while still teaching us, and he really cared about all of his students.
3. What is your favorite memory of school?
Probably in my senior year, when the choir and band from Howell, NJ came to visit us, a month after we'd gone there to visit them. There was so much good there, so much fun, and at the same time so much angsty teenage melodrama (tortured, convoluted romantic entanglements, and the like) that it's hard not to look back on it all and smile.
4. What was your favorite recess game?
I can remember, when I was in fifth grade, there was a group of us that used to play a game we called Dracula, or sometimes, Werewolf. There was a climbing gym on the playground that, to our eyes, looked like a sort of castle. The game always started with all of us gathered at this castle to celebrate someone's 21st birthday (who got to be the birthday boy or girl varied), then the guest of honor would find out that they'd inherited a family curse, and at midnight that night, they'd turn into either a vampire or a werewolf. Once midnight came, the rest was all screaming and running around. Essentially, we were playing a LARP with the same storyline each time. :)
5. What did you hate most about school?
Getting picked on. Between being fat, wearing glasses, and being smart, I really had no chance to escape it. There were some years that were absolute hell for me. Fortunately, it had mostly stopped by the time I got to high school.
Yes, it's true. I finally
Yes, it's true. I finally did finish reading One Hundred Years of Solitude. And the first thing I wanted to do was go back and reread it again. I managed to resist the temptation. Too much else on my to-read list. The book list for 2002 has been updated accordingly.
Paige has connected. Cinderella hees,
Paige has connected.
Cinderella hees, I was just thinking, 'Hey, almost 11 o'clock, it's time for the Laura Show!' ;)
Paige says "The Laura Show!"
Paige plays her theme music and starts running amongst the crowd, telling them what a great show she has lined up for them today.
Cinderella laughs and laughs.
Cinderella says "What's your theme music like?"
Aiser has connected.
Paige says "It's all jazzy and snappy with a good, strong rhythm section."
Paige's guest today on the Laura Show: Lem "Bugface" Pew! Let's give him a hand, folks!
September 12, 2002
On the menu this evening...
Tonight there was a roast that spent all day simmering in my crockpot, homemade garlic mashed potatoes, and corn. I'm a damn good cook.
The only problem is that I'm kicking myself for not realizing that I could've cooked half the roast and frozen half for another day until I was in the middle of eating some of it. I'm going to be eating roast beef for a very long time.
Grar. I feel like I
Grar. I feel like I have too much to do today, so I'm making a list, so y'all can hold me to this!
Get calculator for math class
Homework, including readings for philosophy and literature, and math problems (ick)
Write (oh yeah, that too)
I guess it's not that bad, really. It just feels like it is. I'll be back to strike things out as I finish them.
(Addendum: I realized laundry can wait until Saturday, hooray! Go me, I finished my list!)
September 11, 2002
This is just cause I said I wanted to be a writer, right?
Which Literary Heroine Are You?
September 09, 2002
"Not so fast, my darlings!"
Could Comedy Central possibly rerun Denis Leary's "No Cure for Cancer" any more often? It's like, the Law and Order of the comedy channel.
My story "Rhythm of the
September 08, 2002
A quote stolen from a
A quote stolen from a friend's livejournal. Funny, but perhaps not for the easily offended, but SO TRUE to anyone who's tried to write a love scene:
This is what LiveJournal is for, isn't it?
There's a lot of overlap here, isn't there? Ah well.
- hair: Brown and desperately in need of a trim
- height: 5'7"
- weight: Good question. I'd guess around 350, but I stopped owning scales years and years ago.
- figure: You have to ask? Although, I think I like Mer's "ancient fertility goddess" answer. I'll go with that.
- clothing: My own unique style is called "Hey cool, The Avenue sent me coupons!"
- music: Totally and in all ways eclectic. The only genres I almost never listen to are country, hip-hop, and R&B.
- makeup: None, unless I'm doing something formal.
- body art: With a canvas this big, who can afford art? ;)
- wearing: Denim leggings, dark green t-shirt.
- music: I've had bits of obscure Broadway musicals stuck in my head lately.
- thinking of: Going to bed.
- feeling: Sleepy, a little bored.
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: Collection of piano/vocal music called "Best of Broadway Ballads", or something--this could explain the music.
- read: Working through the last couple chapters of One Hundred Years of Solitude.
- watched on tv: Watching Saturday Night Live at the moment, I'm not sure why.
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: I have a feeling my definition of "house party" isn't what's meant here, but, house party.
- tea or coffee: Either, but particularly chai or a white chocolate mocha.
- high achiever or easy-going: Way too easy-going.
- cats or dogs: Cats, duh.
- single or taken: I am the epitome of a thirty-something single woman.
- pen or pencil: Pen.
- gloves or mittens: Gloves, so I don't have to keep taking them off to do anything.
- food or candy: Food, definitely.
- cassette or cd: cds
- snuff or cigarettes: Yuck.
- coke or pepsi: Coke. Vanilla Coke.
- matches or a lighter: Matches. I burn myself with lighters more. (I know, that's lame.)
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: Um, I'll take, "having my face chewed off by rabid weasels", thanks.
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: Rabid squirrels would work too.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: Well, nobody really.
- hear from: Oddly, my ex-husband.
- look like: It's a tough question. I've spent a lot of time trying to get comfortable with who I am, so ideally I'd like to say "me", but realistically, I've always wondered what life would be like if I were traditionally beautiful.
- be like: My mom, I think.
- food: Italian, I think.
- color: Blue or green.
- album: Oy, too many. First one to come to mind was "A Slight Case of Overbombing", The Sisters of Mercy.
- shoes: my new white tennis shoes.
- site: Big Fat Blog.
- song: God, this changes so often. The last song I listened to obsessively was "Joking" by the Indigo Girls
- vegetable: Broccoli.
- fruit: Seedless grapes.
- last movie you saw: Gosford Park
- last movie you saw on the big screen: Possession
- last phone number you called: Dawn and Jason.
- last thing you had to drink: Milk.
- last thing you ate: Honey-Nut Cheerios.
- last time you showered: Yesterday morning.
- last time you cried: I don't remember. It's been a couple weeks.
- last time you smiled: A few minutes ago.
- last time you laughed: A few minutes ago--my god, I actually laughed at SNL.
- last person you hugged: My mom, this morning.
- last person you kissed: Brand, years and years ago.
- last thing you said: "Bye, I love you."
- last person you talked to online: Lara, as opposed to Laura.
- last thing you smelled: Litter box. I so need to buy litter tomorrow. :P
- smoke: Nope.
- do drugs: Nope, unless you count caffeine and occasional alcohol.
- sleep with stuffed animals: Nope, just real ones.
- have a crush: Always.
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Nope.
- have a dream that keeps coming back: Not in a very long time.
- play an instrument: I sing, and used to be able to play a very small bit of piano and recorder.
- believe there is life on other planets: "I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space."
- read the newspaper: Not unless I'm job hunting.
- have any gay or lesbian friends: Uh, yeah.
- believe in miracles: I'd like to.
- believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: It's possible, of course, the question is whether or not it's ideal to do so.
- consider yourself tolerant of others: Yes.
- consider police a friend or foe: Friend, probably because I'm a white female over 30.
- like the taste of alcohol: Depends on what it's in.
- have a favorite Stooge: Groucho! No, wait...
- believe in astrology: Not really. It's interesting though.
- believe in magic: Yes.
- pray: I admit it, I do, but not usually formally. More of the "please, God" variety.
- go to church: Not in many years.
- have any secrets: Doesn't everybody?
- have any pets: This recently became a two-cat household.
- go to or plan to go to college: Currently a full-time student.
- have a degree: No, that's why I'm currently a full-time student.
- talk to strangers who instant message you: Almost never, because they usually come up with something like, "Do u want 2 cyber?"
- wear hats: Never.
- have any piercings: Ears.
- have any tattoos: Nope. (Haven't we done this before?)
- hate yourself: Not anymore.
- have a "hot spot": I forget.
- wish on stars: Whenever I see them.
- like your handwriting: Not really, that's why I type.
- believe in witches: Of course, I know too many not to.
- believe in Satan: I believe in the existence of evil, personified or not.
- believe in ghosts: Yes.
- trust others easily: Too easily.
- like sarcasm: Oh yes.
- take walks in the rain: Sometimes.
- kiss with your eyes closed: I can't remember.
- sing in the shower: Always.
September 07, 2002
My black cat is currently
My black cat is currently playing with the corpse of a spider he killed.
I feel so goth.
Raise your hand if you're surprised...
Heh. The test also lists your particular score beneath the result. Here's mine:
Vampire Score: -6 WereWolf Score: -2 Mage Score: 10 Wraith Score: 0 Changeling Score: 21
And now apparently Farscape was
And now apparently Farscape was cancelled. What the hell? Don't these people know that geekiness is cool now?
September 06, 2002
Can't sleep... clowns will eat me...
(There's gotta be some logical reason why I'm still awake despite my best efforts, right?)
September 04, 2002
TNT cancelled "Witchblade"! We hates
TNT cancelled "Witchblade"! We hates them, we hates them forever and ever! Despite high ratings and a strong fan following, they cancelled after only two seasons. It's been subtly implied that it's because of Yancy Butler's alcohol problems. Dude. Sucks. How am I going to get my pale erudite guy fix now?
Here's a disturbing thing: computer
Here's a disturbing thing: computer games are now illegal in Greece.
Meme a little meme of me...
I saw this, it looked fun, I was bored...
:: name = Lisa
:: birthday = 7/7/72
:: piercings = Ears double pierced
:: tattoos = Nope
:: height = 5'7"
:: shoe size = 10-11
:: hair color = Medium brown
:: length = Halfway down my back
:: siblings = Two step-sisters, didn't grow up with them
:: pets = Two cats, Pooka and Rumpus
:: movie you rented = Buffy, first season DVD
:: movie you bought = Godspell
:: song you listened to = "We Are", Sweet Honey in the Rock
:: song that was stuck in your head = "Come on Eileen", Dexy's Midnight Runners
:: song you've downloaded = "Heaven", Warrant
:: cd you bought = Monster Ballads
:: cd you listened to = NaNoWriMo homemade mix CD
:: person you've called = Dawn
:: person that's called you = Mom
:: tv show you've watched = Biography
:: person you were thinking of =
:: you have a bf or gf = No
:: you have a crush on someone = Always
:: you wish you could live somewhere else = No way
:: you think about suicide = I used to
:: you believe in online dating = Absolutely
:: you want more piercings = No
:: you want more tattoos = Maybe
:: you drink = Occasionally
:: you do drugs = No
:: you smoke = No
:: you like cleaning = I like being done with cleaning
:: you like roller coasters = If my butt fits in it, yes
:: you write in cursive or print = Print, my cursive is illegible
:: you carry a donor card = On my driver's license, yes
for or against
:: long distance relationships = For
:: using someone = Against
:: suicide = Against
:: killing people = Against
:: teenage smoking = Against
:: doing drugs = Personal choice
:: premarital sex = For, especially if it's me
:: driving drunk = Against, duh
:: gay/lesbian relationships = For
:: soap operas = On TV? Against. IRL? Against. In RPGs? For.
:: food = Tiramisu
:: song = "Drops of Jupiter", Train
:: thing to do = Write
:: thing to talk about = Books or writing
:: sports = Volleyball
:: drinks = Vanilla Coke
:: clothes = Currently, denim leggings and oversized t-shirt
:: movies = Moulin Rouge, Fellowship of the Ring, Singin' in the Rain
:: band = er, Indigo Girls
:: holiday = Thanksgiving
:: cars = Reliable ones
:: ever cried over a girl = Yes
:: ever lied to someone = Yes
:: ever been in a fist fight = Yes
:: ever been arrested = Yes
:: shampoo do you use = Pantene
:: shoes do you wear = new tennis shoes
:: are you scared of = failure
:: of times I have been in love? = Four
:: of times I have had my heart broken? = Two
:: of hearts I have broken? = Two, maybe?
:: of boys I have kissed? = Oh hell, I don't want to count--over a dozen for sure
:: of girls I have kissed? = Three
:: of men I've slept with? = Three
:: of girls I've slept with? = None
:: of continents I have lived in? = One
:: of drugs taken illegally? = None
:: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = Four
:: of people I consider my enemies? = None
:: of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = Two
:: of cd's that I own? = Around one hundred
:: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = Two or three
:: of scars on my body? = Three
:: of things in my past that I regret? = Missed opportunities
September 02, 2002
Wow, I updated an astonishingly small amount last month. That might be a new record. I've spent some time wondering why, exactly, I don't update so much anymore. I suppose part of it is with being unemployed and on break for the past couple weeks, not a lot has been going on in my life. I haven't done nearly enough of anything productive, but damn has it felt good to be so incredibly lazy. Of course, that all ends tomorrow. Classes start Wednesday, but tomorrow I need to continue pursuing a job on campus, among other things.
Overall, it's been a good summer--it's strange to think that it's already over. I've had ups and downs, but that's really nothing new. Nothing really went on that seemed to require writing about.
It seems like the best journal entries I've written usually come during periods of introspection and reflection--and there hasn't really been a lot of that this summer. At least, not that I wanted to make public.
So what have I done this summer?
A lot of slacking, for one thing. Weird hours, lots of sleep, no sleep, movies, TV, reading.
Some writing, but not nearly enough. (Hee. Mer sent me email demanding the rest of The Host second draft--which I haven't written yet, yikes!) I had such high expectations for the summer, and I really haven't lived up to them. Not cool. What is cool though, is that "Rhythm of the Tides" should be up at Strange Horizons within the next couple weeks!
Of course, I took a total of three classes, two women's studies and one philosophy. All three were eye-opening in their own way. I can honestly say that since taking Feminist Theory I'm not looking at the world in quite the same way. And I think this is a good thing.
Let's see. What else did I do? Well, I got my second kitten, Rumpus. I won't ramble about him, I promise, except to say that he and Pooka get along famously and together they're almost painfully cute. (Yes, I'm single and I own two cats. And I'm 30. I've become a stereotype!)
I've wondered, given my extremely sporadic updates this summer, if I've finally given up full-fledged journaling in favor my blogs and my new Live Journal. I don't think so. Those are great for just posting little blurbs or linking to an amusing news article or whatever, but when the urge hits to really write about something, this is the first place that comes to mind.
So, I'm not about to end this part of my life, not after nearly four years. I'm just a lot less likely to dwell on details on every single day.
September 01, 2002
Look, there's another picture up.
Look, there's another picture up. Go rate my kittens!
How did I, a musical
How did I, a musical theatre geek who was also heavy into hippie culture in high school, get to be THIRTY YEARS OLD without ever seeing Godspell? I just watched about the last forty-five minutes of the movie, and it absolutely blew me away. I know what the next DVD I buy is going to be.