Divisions and Precisions

Quiet

Finally. Things are starting to settle down again, both at work and in my emotional life. The stress that was making me crazy last week is largely gone. Things are still pretty loopy at work, but the hours are a little shorter -- it's amazing what a difference a single hour a day can make.

I mentioned the tai chi class last week -- I really think it helped! All we did really was walk. Yeah, just walked -- but it was a very specific form with precise steps. My leg muscles were muttering by the time the class was over, but I felt wonderful! I've reached the point where my knees are getting a little creaky, but the day after my class, the creakiness was pretty much gone. (It was slightly reassuring to know I wasn't the only one with loud knees -- during the class about the only sounds were the teacher speaking and lots of joints popping.) I'm looking forward to tomorrow's class.

Inwardly, I guess you could say I've been quiet. I haven't been doing much in the way of writing or thinking or dreaming or creating -- I've been going to work and then coming home, cooking dinner, and flopping in front of the TV or computer (or both). I haven't decided yet if I should be worried or not. On the one hand, I keep telling myself that I've been working tremendously long, busy hours, so by the time I get home, my brain is pretty much mush. On the other hand, I've been remarkably lazy, and I've gotten out of the habit of writing. (You need only look at the writing journal to see that.) Considering that I have a book due somewhere in about six weeks, that's worrisome.

I don't know. I think what I'm doing right now is pretty natural. And I think things will settle out here soon -- they're already starting to, in fact. I guess that's partly why I haven't written so much here lately. Not much is going on. I'm working. I'm resting when I'm not working. Not reading much. Not writing much. Not thinking much. Just... working and eating and sleeping and vegetating.

It's not that I want life to get busier, exactly, but maybe just a little more active, if only on the inside.