La Vie Boheme

"Computer Dating"

Well, the hatchet came in handy. I chopped about 2,000 words out of "Computer Dating" tonight. I'm not quite done revising it yet, but I think it's a much, MUCH more solid narrative than it was. More action, more punch.

To demonstrate what I mean, here's the original opening sentence: Sara knew even before she logged on that he'd be waiting for her.

Here's the new opening sentence: Sara thought her new relationship was going very well right up until the FBI came by to question her.

I already know this story is going to Black Gate first. I'm hoping to send it out by Monday at the latest, maybe Saturday.