La Vie Boheme

I'm disturbed about something. In

I'm disturbed about something. In trying to write The Sword in the Mound I learned that I have a strange reluctance to write sex scenes (nearly 100 pages into a supposed smutty romance novel, and only a few kisses here and there). However, on several occasions--most notably in The Host and now in The Exile's Daughter--I've written rape scenes, or scenes that were so blatantly symbolic rape that they may as well have been rape scenes.

I'm bothered by this. I know that I have a fairly healthy sexual outlook, so why can't I write about it? Am I somehow less ashamed to write about sex if its not consensual? It's almost as if I don't have a choice if I write rape, either because it's part of the story or because (since I invariably write from the victim's perspective) I'm "not in control". It's like a bizarre literary reenactment of a rape fantasy. I'm free to enjoy it as long as it's "not my fault". It's weird, and also troubling.

Or I may just be making entirely too much out of this.